Living Is The Hard Part
by Macy-Mae
Summary: When Anju moved to Japan she never expected this to happen. After finding Light's Death Note on the ground, she's now being used. Get L to suspect her as being Kira, find out his name and kill him. Now that she's falling for him, its only getting harder.
1. A strange notebook

**Author Note: So this is my first shot at a Death Note fanfic. I got the idea for this story from a dream I had, believe it or not. I use pictures as my inspiration, so on my profile, there will be a chapter image for each. Check them out if you want, sometimes they don't even really go with the theme of the chapter, but they give me my ideas. Thank you! Review please! Enjoy :)**

**Full summary: **When Anju Akiyama moved to Japan to escape her past, she never excepted this. After finding a strange notebook on the ground, she's now wrapped up in a dangerous world full of lies and pain. Light planned on killing her as soon as he saw her with his Death Note, but he's found a better use for her. Get L to suspect her of being Kira(so he is clear), get close to the witty detective, find out his name, and then finish him off. This mission started off hard, and its only going to get harder. Anju Akiyama never figured she fall in love with him, but boy is she falling. Can she still finish out the plan, and save her own life. Or will her newfound love get in the way?

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Killing to Love You

Chapter One

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The Strange Notebook

Ratted, destroyed, high-top, converse patted the street silently. The pair of black shoes had seen better days. Writing, paint, and dirt covered the shoes, fading them out, and creating holes. The soles of the shoes were long worn down, and covered in earth.

Small feet were shoved in the shoe, socks protected them from the rough material. Each toe was painted a different color, one green, one blue, one purple, yellow, red, orange, etc. The colors contrasted with the cream-colored skin.

Connected to the feet were long, lean legs, seemingly stretching on forever, but hidden from the world. Grey jeans clung to them hopelessly, like an extra pair of skin. Holes were shredded on the knees and thighs, exposing the same colored skin as the feet.

They continued along until hips were shown, jutting out from the body in a too-skinny fashion. They were perfectly sized, giving the body a perfect figure, and connecting to the, also too-skinny, legs. A bit of weight might do this body good.

The hips, stomach and chest of the body were covered in a black hoodie. It clung to the small form loosely, and hung off the thin shoulders. The sleeves covered the wrists and part of the hands. The hood was drawn over the person's head.

Black, fingerless gloves coated the hands, and long, pale fingers were exposed. The fingernails were painted black, a tiny bat on the thumb, gleaming with yellow eyes. Ink was splashed onto the tips of the fingers.

Long white hair fell out of the hood, and piled down the chest, landing just above the waist. It was perfectly straight until the end, were it curled in slightly. Bangs fell directly to the tips of the eyelashes, and surrounded the face.

Two big, doe-like eyes was glaring down at the street as the fall rain pounded on the person's back. They were surrounded by long eyelashes, and dark eye shadow. Black eye liner outlined them, contrasting with the light green hue of the eyes.

A petite nose covered in freckles was half hidden under the hair, as were thin pink lips.

'Who is this girl?', that's what you may be asking. Of course, you have no idea who she is…Does anyone really? Most walking down the street would turned their nose up, not finding her the least bit interesting. She wasn't really. She was just a lost soul.

Anju Miyako Akiyama. That was her full name. She was an outcast in a world full of lies. Hidden deep were scars from the past, and wounds never healed. Looking at her, you could tell she was poor.

She lived alone with her eighteen year old self, working at the local café. She didn't go to college, she couldn't afford it, but she was smart. She mostly used her free time to paint and write, but occasionally, when the café was empty, you could see her doing math on napkins.

She held her black knapsack close to her, and hunched her shoulders in from the cold. Her whole body was wet from the rain, and tears mixed in with the rain falling from the grey sky. As she walked through a puddle, the water splashed around her, soaking her shoes.

Just as she was crossing the street, she noticed something. A black notebook was sitting on the ground, and though it was pouring rain, it remained dry. Curious, she bent down and snatched it up. She stood up and examined it.

The notebook was completely plain except for two words written in Japanese on the front cover. Death Note. She opened a few pages and read the "rules". She rolled her eyes at the fact someone would joke around about death like this.

She only realized she was still standing in the middle of the road when a car honked at her. She shot her middle finger up, and walked off the street. The car sped away and she continued walking.

She read more about the notebook, and skipped to the next page. Names were written in neat characters, and she frowned reading them. They were all recent criminals that Kira had killed. Was this person recording Kira's killings?

Just as she passed an empty alley, someone grabbed her by the shirt and yanked her down. She let out a scream as they pulled her into the dark, narrow path, and clamped a hand over her mouth.

She bit the hand, and the person let go, exclaiming loudly. She made a run for it, but the person, once again, grabbed her shirt and pushed onto the ground. She landed roughly and let out a squeak, biting down on her lip.

She tasted metal in her mouth, and realized her lip was bleeding. She looked up at her attacker and saw a boy that looked her age. He was attractive with neat, brown hair, and matching eyes.

He glared at her, and snatched the notebook from her hands. A figure appeared floating behind him, and she looked up. A huge grin was marked on the creatures face as red eyes gleamed at her.

She let out a startled scream and the boy slapped a hand over her mouth, looking at the open to see if anyone noticed. No one stopped to see what was wrong, but kept walking by. Anju watched with distressed eyes at people just kept walking by, paying no attention to the crime folding out.

The boy yanked her chin towards him, forcing her to look at him.

"If you don't want to be killed, you will listen." He whispered forcibly, "I'm going to remove my hand from your mouth and you are going to stay quiet. You will follow me into our next destination and by no means will you talk. Got it?"

Anju nodded, her green eyes wide in fright. The boy nodded back and let go of her mouth. She remained quiet and followed him out of the alley, ignoring the creature laughing behind them. He walked fast through the crowd and Anju had to jog to keep up.

He pushed through the people and walked down a street with lined-up houses. She thought about running away as they were in the crowd, but he kept a firm hold on her wrist, squeezing tightly. She was sure there would be a bruise there tomorrow.

She followed him and they stopped in front of a respectably sized, two-story house. He pulled a key out from his pocket, and Anju thought fast. She could either try to make a run for, and possibly be caught and killed, or she could follow this stranger into his house and be killed later.

She decided to take her chances and run. Just as she made a break for it, he grabbed her upper arm harshly and dragged her inside the house. She tried to break free, but the boy was to strong for her.

He slammed the door behind him and Anju heard footsteps echo in the house. Her eyes widen even further in fright at the fact he might have an accomplice. The door leading into another room swung open, and Anju took an intake of breath.

"Light, your home!" A warm voice said, Anju's head shot up. A petite woman walked in wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. She looked like Light with light brown hair and warm eyes. Anju was sure that this was his mother.

"And you brought a friend!" She said, excitedly, "Oh, your drenched, honey. You're going to get sick, I think Sayu might have some clothes that would fit you!"

"Um, Hi, Mom." Light said, rubbing the back of his neck, "This is…"

He trailed off, not knowing her name. Anju figured she should step in, but he did tell her after all not to speak. He glanced at her, a sign to tell her name, so she responded.

"Akiyama, Anju." She said, bowing. Her Japanese was raw, and it was clearly shown that this language was not her native tongue. It had a slight Irish accent to it, and judging by her light hair and freckles, Light figured she was from Ireland.

"Nice to meet you, Akiyama-san." She said with a gentle smile, "I'm Yagami, Sachiko."

Anju gave her a small smile, trying to hide her frightened state. She gave a nod and Light opened his mouth to talk again.

"Now that formalities are done, we'll be going up to my room, Mom." Light said, "Don't bother with clothes, we'll only be a few minutes."

Light grabbed Anju's wrist and yanked her up the stairs. The white-haired girl sent the older woman a smile and bow and followed the boy up the stairs. Anju felt a bit better knowing his mother was downstairs.

As soon as they were in the room, Light slammed the door shut behind them, and leaned on it, crossing his arms. Anju watched him with frightened eyes and hugged her body close, shivering.

"Anju, huh?" He smirked, walking over to his desk. He sat down on the computer chair and pulled open his book bag. He grabbed the black notebook that Anju had found on the floor and placed it on the desk.

"Do you know what this is?" He asked, taunting her. She frowned and looked at the black book.

"A notebook?" She said as a figure flew into the room. Her eyes widen further, and she bit the inside of her cheek so she wouldn't scream from fright. The creature laughed at her answer.

"Yes, but it's a special notebook." Light said, "A Death Note."

"Death Note?" She said, clicking her tongue in disbelief.

"Tell me, did you happen to read the instructions when you had the notebook, Anju?" He asked. Anju nodded her head. She did read them, but found them childish and stupid. She figured it was an immature prank.

"Thought they were fake, did you?" He said, his smug smirk still intact, "So did I…at first."

He motioned for her to look out the window behind her. She turned around, then leaned out the window and saw a lone figure walking under the street lamp. His hood was drawn over his head, and he had a bottle of beer in his hand.

Light scribbled something in his notebook, and then pulled back the sleeve on his sweater, checking his watched. Forty-seconds later, the figure fell to the floor, clutching his heart.

Anju slapped a hand over her mouth as tears formed in her eyes. A minute later, after wiggling around on the ground for a good fifty seconds, the man dropped dead. Tears leaked out of her eyes as she gasped.

"That man was Kuro Motuo. He-" Anju cut Light off by sprinting towards the door. This boy had used that notebook to kill that man by knowing his name, she was certain he would kill her, and so she took her only chance of running.

Her hand reached for the doorknob, but Light grabbed her roughly around the waist. He tossed her onto the bed and threw himself on top of her. She went to scream for help, hoping his mom would hear, but he covered her mouth.

She fought with him, trying to push him off, but he grabbed her hands in his other, and pinned them above her head.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Anju." He taunted, "I could kill you right now."

Anju didn't doubt him.

"As I was saying," He said, still laying on top of her. She wiggled underneath him, and tried to break free, "That man raped five woman, but our legal system let him go with a simple smack on the wrist. He got what he deserved."

Anju believed that Motuo should be in prison, but killing was killing. She knew that this man holding her down was Kira, and she knew she would be killed. She only hoped to get to the police before he finished her off.

"I am Kira." He whispered into her ear, letting go of her mouth, "And I will be God of this world."

She tried to move her legs out from under him, but his tall frame was too strong for her.

"You're nothing but a murderer." She spat, harshly. His head shot up and his eyes glared into hers. With a swipe of the arm, he slapped her in the face. A drip of blood poured out of her lip, and she let her head fall sideways.

"I am God." He snarled. Anju blinked back the tears in her eyes. She didn't want to die. Not here, not now. She wished she was safe at her apartment, alone with a cartoon of ice-cream and her plaid pajamas.

"Are you going to kill me?" She whispered. Light looked at her for a second, and then let out a crazed laugh. He kept her arms pinned above her head, and ran a finger down her neck, stopping just above her left breast. Her breathing grew heavy from fright.

Glancing at her lips, he smirked, "No, I have a better use for you."

**A/N: Yay! A chapter is done! I'm excited :P**

**So, you like it? Tell me what you think! Should I continue this story?**

**Thank you! Remember: Criticism is welcome :)**


	2. A New Kira?

**A/N: So another chapter...Sorry this took kinda long to get out. Anyways, a chapter image will be posted(probably won't go with anything in the story), but it's what gave me inspiration. Yup, I hope you like this chapter. Its short, sorry 'bout that. I'll post a long one next update :)**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer(these always make me sad): I don't own anything from Death Note....*tear***

Chapter 2

**A New Kira?**

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"Are you sure this is going to work, Yagami-san?" Anju Akiyama whispered, playing with a loose string on the sweater Light was making her wear. It was a light pink color(something she would never have in her closet) and part of Light's younger sister's wardrobe. She frowned at herself through a window they walked by, holding back tears.

After finding that weird notebook on the ground, her life had been flipped around. A Death Note. Honestly, who would've though it was real? Anju hadn't, but apparently it was. She blamed her curiosity for this mess, but it was her fault. She mentally beat herself up, asking why she hadn't just kept walking. Her life would be normal now.

Light Yagami, she was more scared of him then the monster flying behind them. He had this crazed look in his eyes when he told her his plan. Don't follow my orders and die. That was his persuasion. It took Anju all of about three seconds to figure out what she would do.

Follow him of course. She knew the second he proved the notebook was real that he was Kira. And if she knew anything about Kira, it was that he was heartless. She was right. Light Yagami was heartless, only passionate about justice, though everything he did went against that.

Anju wrapped her arms around her body. It was still partly chilly outside, though not pouring rain like yesterday. Leaves were turning brown and red, falling to the floor. Wind nipped at her, drying her lips and eyes. The bottom of her jeans were turning brown with mud, and dragged along the floor.

She fingered her hair, watching the sun bounce off the glitter. Never in a million years would she ever dress like this, but it was all part of Light's plan. A brown knapsack hung off her shoulder, it would be put into use later, but for now it just hung still. Her make-up had been applied just as Light told her to, glittery pink lip-gloss, and soft eye shadow.

He had changed all of her. His reasons? Well…Anju wasn't quite sure. She assumed it was all part of his plans, but what did the way she dress have to do with anything. Holding back a frown, she had to speed her pace up to match Light's. His russet eyes flickered over to her for a brief second, before staring directly ahead.

"You know what your doing right?" He questioned, Anju nodded, "Good, wait for my signal."

And that was it. He walked off quickly after that, leaving Anju standing in the middle of a sea of people, trying to recall what he wanted her to do. Letting her frown show, she moved apart from the crowd and walked along the edge of the sidewalk, closer to the cars. In the distant she saw Light cross a street and walk up to the huge college.

Remembering her task, she followed loosely behind, leaving a distant gap between them. Crossing her arms over her chest, she wiped all of her thoughts away. She didn't want them to convince her to run away, because then she'd be killed. She mentally berated herself for giving out her name so freely.

She paused after crossing the street, a short distant from the now still boy, and sat on a near bench. She pulled her bag on her lap, and played with the same loose string she had been pulling earlier. Her long hair piled on her head and covered her face from view. With no one watching, she let a few tears escape, wiping them off hastily.

A few hours passed and Anju sat on the bench, just as Light had told her to. Over time she had relaxed into a more suitable sitting position, with her legs folded underneath her. Just as her feet started falling asleep, she saw Light in the distance. Standing up quickly, it felt like pins were being pushed into her legs multiple times.

As they got closer, Anju watched for the signal. Counting the seconds in her head, she watched Light closely until she saw him itch his nose. Springing to action, Anju felt butterflies flutter in her stomach. She frowned at the stupid metaphor. If there was anything in her stomach, it was man-eating butterflies.

Walking to the pair, she shrugged the bag over her shoulder to keep it from falling, and caught up to them.

"Yagami-Chan!" She shouted, waving like a obsessed fan-girl, just like he had told her to. Mentally she frowned at the honorific she had used for him. He was no where close to being a friend, someone she was comfortable with. She saw a flash of panic, and anger flash through his eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by L, the man standing next to him, just like planned.

"Oh, hey, Anju-san." Light replied, "gaining" his composure back, "What are you doing here?"

"Gee, can't a girl just visit her friends once and awhile." Anju complained, crossing her arms. Light smiled, sending chills down her spine, and L watched the pair with wide, curious eyes. Light, "noticing" L, jumped with shock at his poor manners.

"Oh, how rude of me, Ryuzaki, this is Akiyama, Anju, a friend of mine." He explained, and Anju stuck out her small hand. L didn't even spare it a glance, but watched Anju with calculating eyes. Her cheeks turned pink at his intense stare, and she awkwardly dropped her hand to her side. Before either had a chance to say anything, a criminal walked by, and Light gave Anju another signal sign.

Anju frowned with distaste as a few cops ran after the man. Ryuzaki noticed her expression and his stare turned suspicious.

"Isn't that Fukui, Haro?…The thief that escaped last Tuesday?" Light questioned. Ryuzaki never took his gaze off the light-haired girl.

"That's so repulsive." Anju answered, "Is there no justice in this world?"

She reached inside her bag and grabbed what seemed to look like a blank, black notebook. She flipped open a page, and grabbed the pen that was resting behind her hair. Writing down a fake sentence, she set the notebook inside her bag, and crossed her arms over her chest.

Forty seconds later Fukui Haro dropped dead. A panic broke out throughout the crowd, and L's eyes narrowed at the girl. She smiled a good-bye and walked away from the group humming to herself. L's phone rang, and he pulled it out, holding it between his index finger and thumb, and pressed it to his ear.

Light waited a few moments and L shut the phone off. He turned to Light with a small frown placed on his thin lips. Light listened with excited and anticipating ears.

"Light-kun, Akiyama-san has been placed in confinement as a possible suspect of Kira." He said, making Ryuk erupt with laughter from besides Light, "I just thought I'd let you know."

* * *

All Anju saw was black.

Well, the black of the cloth covering her eyes. It had been a week since she had been in confinement, and she had yet to talk. Her throat was hoarse from nonuse and no water. Her stomach rumpled in hungry from not eating, and she had to use the bathroom really bad.

"Are you willing to admit to being Kira, yet?" The synthetic voice coughed through the speaker. She remained silent, just like Light had told her to. Her fingers gripped the board she was strapped to as the voice stopped talking. She heard mutters coming through the speaker, and then L came back on.

"Akiyama-san, we've agreed to un-strap you since you remain impassive, and refuse to talk, but you will be placed under strict security, and will remain in a room wired with video cameras and bugs." The voice said again, and then quieted. Anju heard a door open, and felt cold and shaking hands place themselves on her straps. They fumbled with the rope and managed to undo her.

As soon as the straps were off, Anju fell to her knees. Her legs had been asleep for two days now, the last time she used them was going to the bathroom two days ago, and weren't use to the pressure from her body that was applied to them. A hand gripped her upper arm and pulled her up. That was when she first got a look at the man.

He was fairly attractive with dark hair and matching eyes. He was young, maybe in his early twenties, and was average height. He blushed red when he saw her staring, and led her out of the door. Anju noticed that he was quite jittery and seemed to be sweating a bit. She pulled to a stop halfway done the dark hall, and he turned to her questioning.

"May I use the restroom?" Anju asked, looking down at her feet. The man scratched idly behind his neck, and stuttered out, "L-R-Ryuzaki gave me strict orders to take you straight up to your room.", Anju let out a frustrated sigh, but nodded and followed him out.

Once placed in her room, Anju stormed into the bathroom, not caring if there were cameras in there to, and released her stress. After relieving herself, she continued into the room, and check for towels.

It had been a week since she had showered properly, and her hair was matted with greasy. Finding a towel in her dresser, she turned on the shower, and stripped her clothes. She washed herself thoroughly and rid herself of unwanted hairs. After spending an hour in the warm water it started turning cold, and she shut it off.

Wrapping herself in a towel, she forgot about the cameras and walked out into the room. She pulled open her drawers to look for a pair of jeans and shirt, and she secretly thanked the witty detective for placing her clothes in the dresser for her. She grabbed a pair of grey jeans and a plain black t-shirt before walking back into the bathroom. She had decided that L would have some respect and not put cameras in the bathroom for at least some privacy.

She slipped on the clothes with fresh undergarments, and then exited the bathroom, turning off the light. She sat Indian styled on her bed, and pulled out a brush after searching for it for about thirty minutes, and rid the knots in her long hair. Leaving it to air dry, she pulled out her notebook and began writing as Light had instructed her.

She wrote random thoughts of her own and often talked of her sister and memories. She used the notebook as a sort of diary, and wrote her feelings and thoughts. Her hand started cramping after awhile, and she noticed her hair was done drying. She braided it into two braids that rested on her shoulder, and just as she finished, the man from earlier knocked on the door.

"Err, Ryuzaki wants to meet with you." He said, scratching his neck again. Anju nodded and let herself be led to the mysterious L. The man left her at a door and she entered, cautiously looking around. The lights were dimmed and she noticed a figure sitting in front of a computer. She recognized him as the boy that had been standing with Light the day she had greeted him. Light never told her why he exactly wanted her to do those things in front of this boy….She knew now.

"Sit down, Akiyama-san." He said.

"Call me, Anju." She answered sitting down. She hated her last name; it reminded her of her father. L spun around in his chair, and she noticed his odd sitting position. He watched her with an intense stare, and she felt her face grow warm.

"Alright, Anju-san, you shall remain placed in this confinement until I prove you as Kira, or your released innocent." He said, waiting for her reaction. Her face remain impassive as before, except for the red tint on her cheeks. She let out a long sigh, possibly wondering how she got herself into this.

"I'm not Kira." She said finally.

"Do you have any proof to prove your innocence." He asked, sticking his thumb between his teeth. He waited for her response, but it never came. He spun back around in his chair to look at the computer screen, "That's what I thought."

"You may go now." He said. He heard her let out a straggled noise.

"What?!" She asked, "That's all you dragged me here for?"

He turned back around and stared, "Yes. What other would I need from you?"

She was silent for several moments, "Well, can't I help with the case? So I can prove I'm not Kira."

"I doubt that would work, but sure, why not?" He said, turning back around, "You can't kill with me watching you."

"I'm not Kira!"

"Sure you aren't."

He was mocking her now. She frowned and crossed her arms. Anju stood from her chair briskly, not being able to take anymore of L's odd behavior, and crossed the room. Her hand rested on the doorknob just as L spoke.

"The task force meets at five o'clock sharp." He said, and without saying a good-bye, Anju left the room.

**A/N: EEK! I hate short chapters, and I'm mad at myself for not making this longer! Sorry! This is just a sorta filler chapter, and the next one with be much longer, I promise. I'm not really satisfied with this one, but I'm just trying to get the story started so I can get to the fun parts :P. The beginning of stories are always kinda lame, unless your a good writer, like uber good. Then they are interesting. Ya, I'll stop rambling now. If you have time check out my other story I just start! Thanks for reading.**

**Review! :)**


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